- 3 local, farm-fresh eggs (the ones with stand-up-and-be-counted yolks)
- 3 slices whole wheat bread (e.g., from Oliver’s German Bakery)
- Too much butter Salt and pepper
- Black Sheep maple syrup or your preferred local maple libation
Key utensils: Spatula, frying pan, heat source
Nice to have: Plate or facsimile (such as the lid of last night's pizza box), knife, fork
Turn the heat all the way up, put a lump of butter in the pan and swirl it around. Use the spatula to butter one side of each slice of bread.
Put slices of bread in the pan butter-side down in a way that fills the pan with as much bread as possible. Beat it all in flat, if necessary.
When the bread starts to fry and is just slightly golden (when you peek under a raised corner), break eggs on top. Try to keep the eggs (especially the yolks) on top of the bread. Depending on your heat source, this is the time to turn the heat down below medium. (If you smell burning toast, you overshot a bit. Remove from heat for a few moments, but don't worry, a little char helps this dish and fortifies your morning attitude.)
Break the yolks with the corner of the spatula and stir the yolk around on the top of the bread. Shake the pan a moment to settle the whites and runny bits down into the spaces between the slices. Nip off several corners of butter and put them (shotgun-pattern) onto the top of the egg swirl. Salt and pepper everything.
Now the tricky bit: Slide the spatula under the bread, pull the pan off the heat and down below your waist. Gently move the pan upwards and away from you, flipping the meal over into the pan. The top of the mixture is wet and soppy, so the risk is that you will splatter egg on yourself or the bunk- house wall, but the way you're dressed and the way the wall looks, nobody will notice. This I know.
Return the pan to less than medium heat, lightly salt and pepper the top and take a minute or two to cook the egg underneath. Remove from heat. If you have the luxury of a plate, flip it out and proceed as usual. If not, chop up the fried egg and bread mixture in the pan with the spatula, flood it with maple syrup, and scarf it all down with your fingers while you get your boots on.
The pan and the spatula are a bit of a mess now, so pour your leftover King Cole tea into the pan, and walk outside to the ‘dishwasher.’ Swirl light clean gravel in the tea puddle with the spatula, scrape and rinse everything over, put it all away. Wash your face and go get ‘em, tiger…
From the kitchen of Jim Kitts